DECK THE HALLS

I am a Christmas traditionalist in the sense that Brian and I follow the same traditions from year to year, many similar to those followed by my family.  Christmas to me is a Catholic affair and very Irish, dating back to the days of the Celtic festival of Alban Arthuan, held during the Winter Solstice on December 21.

Alban Arthuan is an ancient Druidic fire festival. It takes place on December 21st - 22nd, coinciding with the Winter Solstice.  The name means "The Light of Arthur," in reference to the legend that King Arthur was born on the Winter Solstice. Alban Arthuan is also known as 'Yule'.

The custom of burning the Yule Log was performed to honor the Great Mother Goddess. The log would be lit on the eve of the solstice, using the remains of the log from the previous year, and would be burned for twelve hours for good luck.

Decorating the Yule tree was also originally a Pagan custom with brightly colored decorations hung on the tree, usually a pine, to symbolize the Pagan worship of the sun, moon, and stars - and to represent the souls of those who had died in the previous year. The practice of gift-giving came from the tradition of hanging gifts on the Yule tree as offerings to the Pagan Gods and Goddesses.

Brian and I always travel to this little tree farm in Sebastopol, a small town West of Santa where I saw down our tree.  There is a model train set on the farm, where Brian stands for what seems like hours watching the little train make its way through and about this countryside that takes up half a barn floor.  It is a good thing he is occupied, because every year I tell myself I will bring my own sharp saw and every year I forget, then get to find out just how weak my upper arms have become.  Lots of sawing...flabby underarms will be sailing in the wind... 

Brian always manages to find the most knot inbedded tree for me to cut down, after looking at casts of thousands, usually returning me to the first one. Like a typical boy, as soon as the hard work is to start he runs off to see the train set. 

So there I am on all fours (men don't go there), on damp ground looking at the base for a good place to begin to cut with a saw (from the tree place) that can't cut butter fresh from the microwave.  THIS is when I really need a man.  I begin the back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth movement of the saw....three hours later...back and forth back and forth movement of the saw... I now breathe like I am having sex (me on top) so men begin to mingle closer.  But none of them offer to help, because they too hate this F***ing part of the Christmas tree tradition!

Finally Brian shows up in time to lie against the tree while I saw, because safety is no longer an issue.  I just want to go home before I turn 50.  I mean, there are times you do stop and think about getting up and walking away, leaving the tree half cut, tell your kid you are going to Wal Mart (or wherever they are pre cut) and buy one. Eventually with tree in hand I write a hefty check for the privilege of cutting down their tree and we get to go home.  You know, this Irish tradition is a little nuts...

Once home when it comes time to prep the tree...my son disappears...leaving me to put it in a water solution.  I set the tree up to hose it down to ensure we don't bring in small black house guests that fly, bite and send me screaming from my bed in the middle of the night.  I have dated that...don't wanna bring it in on a tree...

When it comes time to decorate (after the lights are on) Brian is right there. This is also a tradition handed down from my family - no one at my house liked to put up the lights, so it was always me.  So far, this tradition is right on track.  Why do people hate to put lights on the tree?  Brian begins his handiwork and like all kids hangs 150 ornaments in one three foot round area at his height on the tree.  Like a typical parent, when he is not looking I try to spread the ornaments around the tree.

In the end, it is a compromise and the tree is beautiful.  Many of the ornaments have memories for us, when he was born and I was still married.  Each tells an enjoyable story we relive while we unwrap them.  There are the ones that he made over the years, and ones that we bought to remind us of our dreams - like his favorite one that is a two story house just like one that he wants so badly in real life.

I love every Christmas with Brian.  It is wonderful to be able to create the joy of Christmas for children.  These are memories that will last a life time.  Even the one where I say through gritted teeth "If you throw another rock near that car one more time we will go home NOW and I will cancel Christmas"!!  As he looks back at me with that boy only "W h a t..."? innocent crap face.

But then he realizes that I am his redheaded mom, and just crazy enough to do it, so he stops...

It is the holiday  season...and cops say these are the weeks that people drink the most throughout the year.  Could it be parents with more than one kid...?...  Women with husbands who want to put Las Vegas on their front lawn in Christmas lights...?...husbands with wives who come home happy that they are giving everyone everything they ever wanted to the tune of maxing out all their credit cards...?

Peace on earth...good will towards men.

Until next time-

C 

THIS SITE IS A MEMBER OF WEBRING

This site is a member of WebRing.
To browse visit
here

 

This site is a member of Search4blog.   To browse visit: http://www.search4blogs.com/bloggers/index.php

KNIGHT PLEASE

There are just some days when I have to laugh at where my life is and the things that come up during the day as I attempt to figure out what my next “plan” is.  So here I am printing and completing the newsletter for my x husband’s business, which finds me in his office more than I care to be. (Lord where is that Knight in Shining Armor to rescue me from this Cinderella life I have created?).

So, I am missing Elisabet, and wishing I could figure out a way to move to Sacramento so we can work together and hang out.  She, and Kb are like sisters to me with Elisabet behaving like the youngest, so exuberant for life.  Both are Gemini’s, and oddly enough share the same birthday, along with my mother a Gemini. (Lord where is that Knight in Shining Armor to rescue me from this Cinderella life I have created?).

I am also working on her newsletter and sent the rough draft, which causes a day of back and forth phone calls. 

They start like this:

Ebet: “Heeelllo dear how are ya?”

Me: “It’s been a month, are you on your way here?”

Ebet: (laugh) “No and wait until you hear why!”

Me:  “No girls night?”

Ebet: “Not tonight, I have wading boots on”

Me:  “Wading boots…?…is your husband home?”

Ebet: (her great giggle) “Nooooo, wait until you here the latest Ebet story.  It will make you feel good about your Lucille Ball moments.  Chris is here though, he is shampooing the carpet”

Ebet: “So you know how I worry about my daughter’s fish dying?’

Me: “Yes, so you don’t become the same amphibian murderer like me...”

Ebet: “Exactly.”

Ebet: “How is the burial plot these days?”

Me:  “Luckily no new residences”

Ebet; (laugh)  “Good, so I decided ON SUNDAY to transfer my daughter’s fish from a 10 gallon tank to a 20 gallon tank from the garage.  Now I had to bring the tank from the garage in, clean it and prep it, then drain the 10 gallon tank and clean all the rock, and their little homes and such.  Did all that and created a new home in the 20 gallon tank, filled it with water and rolled it over to the family room on this sturdy cart I use,  The front right wheel hit the carpet (I gasp and cover my mouth) and the whole tank flew forward…”

Me “OH GAWD”

Ebet: “Yes, I created my own tsunami in my family room with 20 gallons of water and a tank that shattered into a thousand pieces”  We both begin to laugh hysterically.

Me;  “Oh lord that is something I would do”

Ebet: “I know…and it gets better.  It took me three hours just to clean up the glass and rocks”

Me:  “The fish weren't in it were they?”

Ebet: “No, that would be you and this story would end with a fish funeral and a burial in your garden”

Me: (laugh) “So true, so the w a t e r..?”

Ebet:  “The water is still a nightmare.  We used our wet dry vacuum from the garage, and all the towels in northern Folsom, and figured we got it all.  We had to move the furniture into the dining room.”

Me: “So no Chris room”

Ebet: “No, and still no Chris room, you know why?”

Me: “Why?”

Ebet:  “Well I did say Chris was home shampooing the carpet right?”

Me; “Yes, I was getting turned on at the thought of it”

Ebet: “We were letting the carpet dry and Monday everything was looking great, so Tuesday I wake up at my usual 5:30am…”

Me; “The ungodly hour”

Ebet: “Yes, and the dogs are waiting for me and as I come out of our bedroom upstairs this smell begins to permeate my nostrils”

Me: “Chris…?”

Ebet: “(laugh) This smell of like 50,000 pairs of used men’s sports socks”

Ebet: “It made me gag”

Me: “I bet that turned Chris on”

Ebet: (laugh) “Oh Cathi it was awful.  The worst smell.   I made Chris get up and come downstairs”

Me:  “Of course you did”

Ebet:” So we open all the windows and it is freezing outside.  I am thinking snow anytime and we have all the windows open”

Ebet: “So I tell Chris we have to tear up the carpet and probably get rid of the pad, now mind you this is our brand new carpet, so he says “Like hell we are” and he goes down and rents one of those big carpet shampooers”

Me: “So he is in charge now?”

We are both laughing hysterically.

Ebet:  “After he shampooed it on Monday it seemed to work, and Tuesday morning when I got up it smelled great, but his morning…"

Me: “50,000 sock smell”

Ebet: “yep”

Me: “oh god, now what?  Are you ripping up the carpet?”

Ebet: “Nope. Chris is shampooing it again as we speak”

Me: (laughing)”So this is why you can’t come see me?”

Ebet: “This is why”

At this point she has to take a call from clients andsays she will review the newsletter and call me later in the day.

Later in the day my x husband goes and picks up Brian and takes him to his tutoring and comes back to his office.

My x: “Guess who I ran into?”

Me; “Who”

My x: “Your friend Leslie”

Me: “Ah, was she picking up her daughter?”

My x: “Yes, and you are right, her daughter is beautiful”

Me:  “Yes, she looks like her mother, Leslie is beautiful…”

My x “That’s why I asked her for her phone number”

Me:  “To get the kids together?”

Myx:“No, to ask her out”

Me: “MY friend?  You have now dated so many women in this county that you now have to look among my friends?”

At this moment Ebet calls me back.

Ebet: “OH MY GAWD can you talk”

ME: “Sort of”

Ebet: “Leslie just called me and she is furious because she thinks Terry just asked her out, when she thought he was talking about getting Brian and Olivia together.”

Terry leaves to go to the bathroom.

Me: “Yes, wankerman is now asking out my friends”

Ebet“OMG.  Chris is over here shaking his head”

Again, Ebet and I start laughing hysterically.

Me: “You know, I don’t care, except once again it is his way of trying to access my life from every angle.  This is the thing, his trying to be all in my life that drives me up a wall and then to the huge fights we have because he just doesn’t get it.”

Ebet: “Well Leslie wants him to call so she can go off on him and tell him he is a jerk if he thinks she would date her girlfriend’s x husband”

Me; “The bigger question would be why would she want to?”

Ebet: “Exactly”

Me:  “Can I just move away today?”

Ebet: “Honey I know.  I know.  It is going to happen for you.  I just know it.  Just think, you could be living with us and we could be at lunch while Chris cleans the carpet” We both laugh.

Me: “If I was there, the fish might be dead”

Ebet: “Then we’d have wine with the funeral services”

And that my friend was today.  I am still laughing, but I know I have to move this dream of mine forward so I can get the hell out of Santa Rosa, even if it is a home in Sacramento, and I stay at the apartment in town when Brian needs me here.  I don’t know somehow it has to work where I can have a life where Brian doesn’t suffer.  There has to be a way.Lord where is that Knight in Shining Armour to rescue me from this Cinderella life I have created?

Oh wait, I think that Knight has to be ME….damn! Thank God for good friends.

C

SHADES OF YESTERDAY

Here I am modeling a replica of Lady Diana's wedding gown for a newspaper article on the Royal Wedding mania, and then local advertisements for the gown.  This was back in my college years... back in the days when I worked for Rosenburgs.  This was also the time I met Rich and was running track every  day - can you tell??? (laugh)  He absolutely loved this photograph...kinda funny since he never wanted to get married...

The price tag for just the gown was $5,000.00 back then, would probably be about the same as $17,000.00 in todays market.  The woman who wore the real gown and became a princess is now dead, her husband remarried and boys all grown.  I found this photo in a book, and it took me back to a different time.  It is hard to believe that I was once a wedding consultant for 10 years.  Brides are worse than a crying newborn...well WE ARE.

The years go by fast, don't they?

C

DISTRACTED

I am in the middle of writing this month's real estate newsletter for some clients and I am in a rather frisky mood.  I would alternatively like to be sending out a "How To Make Love Every Day" newsletter, or something more fun.  Maybe if I titled it that way, people would actually read it instead of lining their birdcages?

 

I am also reading two books at once these days so I haven't had a chance to write my goofy thoughts here as much as I have wanted.  Yes, I often read two books at once...

 

Brian is going through the lippy years, you know the stage where boys think they know everything...or do you men ever out grow that?  Anyways, his mouth has shocked even me and finally I found myself becoming my mother as I turned to him in the kitchen, pointed my fork at him and said, "I have never spanked you, or hit you young man, but don't push me"!  Visions of my mother flashed before me as I remember her saying the exact same thing to me.  I think she had a hammer in her hand when she said it...

 

Brian looked at me with that funny expression he gets when he is trying to decide if he has really pushed me too far, then thought better of a smart answer and said "I'm sorry".  What is with kids that they go through the mouthy stage?  Must be re-payment for the years I did it.

 

Thank God he is a blonde and not a redhead....oiy.

 

C

 

http://journals.aol.com/rapieress/Aweekinthelife/

 

DREAMS

In the beginning there was this woman who lived and breathed mortgage banking, always pushing to be the best within a corporation.  One day, she walked away to start another life.  She did the crazy thing, brought her life down to a starving artist’s level and began to pursue a long held dream.

 

Who is she?  She is I.

 

A part of writing this blog is so that people can come along with me and watch the process.  When someone writes a personal journal, it tracks the ups and downs of a person’s life while on the path towards something.  Usually it is kept under a bed, within written pages that no one ever sees, but I decided to do something different and open up a part of me for the world to see.  This blog was created to track the process of me changing every part of my life in the middle of my life, when many would say that it couldn’t be done.

 

Yes, there are those who think it cannot be done, those who think I am crazy, and those who fear I will crash and burn, those who fear I will actually do it and leave them behind in the dust.  But this really is not about some people…it is about me.  And when I get to the place I am moving towards, maybe it will encourage others who have become stuck in a life that isn’t really who they are.

 

I come from a family that believes in making cautious, carefully thought-out decisions full of “right” responsibilities, although I have lived that, I am always the rebellious youngest sibling.  You know, the kid risking doing something crazy…. the impulsive one.

 

Has it paid off?  Sometimes, sometimes not…but it has brought me to this place.  I have a wonderful boy who I adore, who when I awake every single day since the day he was born, I thank God for.  Yes, every morning when I arise, I look at the sky and thank God for giving me the most sacred gift in Brian.

 

Until Brian was born, I felt this void from the death of my father.  I did not realize how much until I held Brian in my arms for the first time, and I was complete.  It was as if my whole life’s purpose was made perfectly clear.  I was here to have Brian, to bring him into the world to teach him about life … he in return was here to teach me about love. 

 

I am twice blessed, because Brian is just so damn much fun.  He makes me laugh every day.  His exuberant love of people and life is infectious, his laugh from the angels above.  Brian believes I can move mountains and do amazing things.  He believes I have a greater purpose than just being his mother - he is adamant about it – so much so I think he is a nag!

 

Now I haven’t quite disclosed what path it is that I am on to ya all, and I will eventually reveal it here so you can watch it unfold. As my friends here you can say you were with me in mind and spirit from the beginning.  You see me when I am down, and when I am picking myself back up.  It is the natural cycle of living.  I hope it inspires you.  I hope it brings you knowledge the human spirit is an ever-changing, free flowing spirit full of great possibilities.

 

I hope you continue to cheer me on and keep me in your prayers.  I hope you continue with your emails of hope and wonderful comments.  Finally I hope you find my journey resonating in your own soul and moves you to take some risks as far as your dreams are concerned.

 

Until next time -

 

C

WORLD AIDS DAY 2005

 

Stop AIDS.

Keep the promise.