Peter, aka San Jose Man has contacted me again. It has been a few months, and am impressed in disconnecting my home phone (I changed to the Internet), canceling my last cell phone and buying a new one doesn't stop him from finding me.
Every 45 year old woman needs a young guy in their 20s thinking we are all that. He is a kind pup and the only man so far who takes an active interest in my Hashimotos and does his own research. He was the first to suggest supplements, and look into other forms of treatment. He always contacts me with his latest ideas...it was like having my own personal trainer. I am sure if he lived closer we'd lift weights together. It would be awesome to lift weights with a guy.
Peter lives in Silicon Valley and has moved into selling Real Estate there. Well of course he is...do you think this business will ever let me go??? I attract real estate people like fresh blood to a mosquito. He is full of dreams and spark, I am sure he will do well. He is some sort of Marshall arts expert and just finished a trip to Japan. He has discipline and has done quite a bit so far - for someone so young. He will make a killing in the housing market.
It is nice to have someone checking up on me. Interestingly enough, he doesn't see me as strong and intimidating (words I hate from men) and finds me open and vulnerable. He worries about me, so he fits right in with my close circle of friends and family.
I recently came to the epiphany that I pick men who don't pay attention to my needs. I pick men who want our interactions to be all about them and act as if we don't see the "elephant sitting in the living room" between us. The minute I begin to question their behavior - they freak. I am told it is the sign of an insincere man. Hmmm....how do they sleep at night?
This is a pattern which began due to some incidents that ocured during my years from 9-18. Finally, in the slowing down of my life and taking the time to take care of myself, I am able to do the work to see the patterns that have brought me to this place in my life. If you want to change your life, you have to change yourself from the inside out. Then and only then will the outside world change to match.
I mean come on...I did say I was going to change my whole life right here in front of you so you could watch through my blog. I have to put my money wheremy mouth is.
It is nice to know Peter, who listens to my needs and responds in kind, is out there and I recognize it. I just need to find an older version of him, although he will tell you no - he is old enough. My girlfriend KB married a man 10 years younger and screams "DON'T DATE YOUNGER MEN"! He does however deserve my friendship and kindness, as I like his gentle soul and only positive can come from knowing him.
And he does live in my favorite part of California...
Until next time-
C
