In the beginning there was this woman who lived and breathed mortgage banking, always pushing to be the best within a corporation. One day, she walked away to start another life. She did the crazy thing, brought her life down to a starving artist’s level and began to pursue a long held dream.
Who is she? She is I.
A part of writing this blog is so that people can come along with me and watch the process. When someone writes a personal journal, it tracks the ups and downs of a person’s life while on the path towards something. Usually it is kept under a bed, within written pages that no one ever sees, but I decided to do something different and open up a part of me for the world to see. This blog was created to track the process of me changing every part of my life in the middle of my life, when many would say that it couldn’t be done.
Yes, there are those who think it cannot be done, those who think I am crazy, and those who fear I will crash and burn, those who fear I will actually do it and leave them behind in the dust. But this really is not about some people…it is about me. And when I get to the place I am moving towards, maybe it will encourage others who have become stuck in a life that isn’t really who they are.
I come from a family that believes in making cautious, carefully thought-out decisions full of “right” responsibilities, although I have lived that, I am always the rebellious youngest sibling. You know, the kid risking doing something crazy…. the impulsive one.
Has it paid off? Sometimes, sometimes not…but it has brought me to this place. I have a wonderful boy who I adore, who when I awake every single day since the day he was born, I thank God for. Yes, every morning when I arise, I look at the sky and thank God for giving me the most sacred gift in Brian.
Until Brian was born, I felt this void from the death of my father. I did not realize how much until I held Brian in my arms for the first time, and I was complete. It was as if my whole life’s purpose was made perfectly clear. I was here to have Brian, to bring him into the world to teach him about life … he in return was here to teach me about love.
I am twice blessed, because Brian is just so damn much fun. He makes me laugh every day. His exuberant love of people and life is infectious, his laugh from the angels above. Brian believes I can move mountains and do amazing things. He believes I have a greater purpose than just being his mother - he is adamant about it – so much so I think he is a nag!
Now I haven’t quite disclosed what path it is that I am on to ya all, and I will eventually reveal it here so you can watch it unfold. As my friends here you can say you were with me in mind and spirit from the beginning. You see me when I am down, and when I am picking myself back up. It is the natural cycle of living. I hope it inspires you. I hope it brings you knowledge the human spirit is an ever-changing, free flowing spirit full of great possibilities.
I hope you continue to cheer me on and keep me in your prayers. I hope you continue with your emails of hope and wonderful comments. Finally I hope you find my journey resonating in your own soul and moves you to take some risks as far as your dreams are concerned.
Until next time -
C
