Look at me... lately ... I am just not writing...
I suppose this happens to writers some times. Believe it or not I am a fairly private person so there are chunks of my life I don't write here. Some of it is about protecting my son other times I just don't want to write about it all.
Plus, oddly enough ... I have been busy. Be proud. I painted the bathroom. I restored my gardens to indisputable beauty. I work out everyday - yes everyday. Brian and I finished his last school project. The loan business is booming. Where is my time to write?
So, the meds are working. TA DA. T3 is the secret panacea of thyroid restoration in my book. I wonder how many untold others become as sick as I was and never receive proper medical attention. It was my anger, study, persistence and refusal to stay with treatments that slowly pulled me up from the hell I was sliding into.
I am not quite back, but I am better. The brain fog is gone, the endless need to sleep, the painful fatigue and joint ache and weight gain are all becoming a distant memory.
[Hang on - have to take a break - girlfriend J instant Messeges me]
J: You there?
Me: Yes, just writing to Sex and The City
J: oh, wow, don't let me stop you!
Me: ...what's up?
J: someone sent me something, and one line is bothering me, just wondering if it should...it's been in my mind for days... lemme get it
Me: ok...I am all yours
J: dang, having trouble opening it
J: lemme see, there must be a way
J: it was one of them chain thingies, I don't send them along, never know what they have attached to them these days, but I did glance at this one...and one line just stuck in my brain, I want to get it right...
Me: what...if you don't send it a redhead will die by Sunday? (some are hoping)
J: I found the line. it's about knowing that your love for each other should never be confused by your need of each other. I'm seriously confused I think. Something about your love for each other should never be eclipsed by your need for each other, or confused by your need for each other, well I can tell you, I'm a bit confused in general
Me: and...this is unusual how...?
J: i have never needed someone to help me as much as I have these last several weeks with my leg casted,a nd being unable to do the most basic things for myself, such as carry my purse or drive. and I'm so happy to have him here to do that for me. I feel angry that I need someone so much, but then I'm happy to have someone there, blessed I guess, but then I think, has my need for him eclipsed by love for him, strange huh?
Me: so you were thinking..."Is this my sign?"...of the chain gang email...
Me: feckin chain letters...burn them I say ... you will note men never forward that crap
J: hahahaha well, it was pages of stuff, and this one jumped out at me, much of it was good stuff, or rather - all of it is, but this one stuck in my head, and I have thought about it often
Me: oh I am hopeless at all this ... I don't believe in love at first sight ... and I am pretty sure 75% of the world doesn't get what real love is ....and the 25% who do are all women ...so he needs ya or he loves ya...the big question is...is he good in bed
J: I think you have that on target, I bet you are part of the 25% ;)
Me: so its pretty much who does a man need, since they don't get the whole love thing ... with them it is "Sex at first sight" - they pretend it is love at first sight and then are shocked when it all crashes and burns.
Me: lol ... yeah well with my fusiness it could be my next life that I meet my soulmate...he'll prolly be a tree and I'll be a skunk...
J: you could belike me,settle....and still have to wait until your next life to meet your soulmate! haha!
Me: lol...I married the "settle" one and look where that got me...
J: Trust me, I can't call him my soul mate, ya know why, because I don't know what that means. that's how I know he isn't. I love him, but that'sa given, soul mate, I don't think I can toss that around this time.I'm not unhappy about it, not searching for it, but have resolved that this is how it is
Me: I think a soulmate is your best friend in a guy with a bit of passion thrown on top ... its my guess anyway
J: yes, he's my best friend now, but I can flake that around, passion? I don't think that's it, [CENSORED FOR J] so there ya go. I don't complain, I have acompanion, but I was thinking that's the status you give each other in your 70's, not this soon! hahaha
Me: well ... he does carry your purse
J: HAAAAAAAA when he buys me a box of tampons, then we have arrived, I've just never had to wait this long for that arrival. I'm off to bed. I am sorry about Felicita.
Me: thank you - you got to experience her over the years...remember my wedding shower?
J: Not as well as I wish I did.
Me: You brought the cake ...
J: wow, I hope it was good
Me: lol...you were late and Felicita told you so ...I think we hid in the corner and drank champagne ...I should have took it as my sign to run.
J: I don't recall the reprimand, which if I heard it, would stick longer than the icing to my body! hahaha
Me My sister in law hid in her bedroom...It was a classic italian affair
J: I really do have recall problems.
Me: so you forget all the men at the bank when we worked there too?
J: some
Me: well then see...my shower didn't have any men - that explains it...no worries
J: some things I recall, like the time the manager told me to get a bra on, and then when Sharon told me my brother looked suspicious
Me: well come over sometime - I'll fill you in and invent some new stuff that makes me look like the better Teller
J: sounds good:)
Me: You've been under amountain of stress for quite a few years now
J: Mom always said, don't learn to type, you will end up a secretary, maybe it's best you weren't the top Teller then you'd end up like some of those ladies, Teller's until retirement! hahaha
Me: no - I would have married one of the businessmen that came into bank...even if I had to flash a breast
J: hahahahah
J: Nite friend :)
See...we women can laugh at ourselves...
Until next time-
C
