I know! I haven't beenwriting much introspective, witty repartee here this past month orso. Truth be told I am still recovering from whatever kind ofcold this is. Daily, I now have heartburn and a massiveheadache. Brian is suffering through the same and enjoys livingin his pajamas for days on end.
I manage some work and at leasta shower, but I must admit I love hanging out in my homewith Brian. It is my favorite thing. I know these are thelast few years before he is off to be with friends, doing his ownthing. I will miss him terribly.
For now, we get to compare handsizes, worst spider stories and favorite comedic lines. He isinto farting and thinking it is funny. I am into chasing himaround with Fabreeze (because he is getting that "boy" smell) and Ithink it is funny. He points out when I have lipstick on my teethand tells me he likes me better without makeup. I point outto put on shoes and I like him better when he cleans his room...
I am lucky KB and Elisabet haveyoung children too, because they understand my desire to hang withBrian. They are like me - older women with youngchildren. We had large lives before we had ourchildren. I have girlfriends who married just out of high schooland had children before they were 20. Now they love their newfreedom and embrace corporate America with a vengeance, wherewe think "yawn". I didn't get married until I was 30, so Itraveled. went to school and did the corporate rat race long beforeBrian. None of it compares to being the mother of Brian.
I don't have a burningdesire to spend time away from Brian. It was hard enough totravel for work while he was young. I used to justify it in myhead by telling myself it was time he would be spending with hisdad anyways. But now that I don't have to travel, I want him allthe time and hate sharing. Yes, yes he does need to be around hisdad. I have girlfriends whose kids are grown who getirritated with me when I take Brian back before his time with his dadis done. They say I am letting my ex "off the hook" when Iallow him to change Brian's time with him. Really, I don't care,as Brian is welcome home anytime (day or night). I willforever be pleased to see him.
No other man, girls night,dance class or event could equal time hanging out with my son. Iam smart enough to realize time is a precious gift that changes in asecond. Before I know it Brian will be driving, then off tocollege, maybe traveling the world and then married and starting afamily of his own. I will then become the welcome guest inhis life from time to time. The time we have right now is"our time." It will never repeat.
However, I would like to get over whatever bug this is ...
Basketball season returns infull swing Thursday night and we begin the whirlwind that is the finalmonths of Brian's grade school life. Never to be repeated in thislifetime...
Until next time-
C
