Finally, death number three entered boldly into my world at about 10:15 this morning. I was at my truck, which was parked out on the street in front of my place. One of my newer neighbors from across the street came out from her house sobbing, and leaned against her garage door in obvious anguish. Her cries were so desperate that I stopped, wondering if I should go to her. It is difficult to know what to do in these situations. As I thought for a second three men in suits came out and gathered her in their arms. It almost appeared as what I imagine an intervention looks like and I half expected to see her say goodbye to a young man or woman, but I was way off base...
Two of the men went back inside, and to my great dismay returned pushing a gurney with a body bag on top. The body bag was not large, and I realized it was probably a young child. They have a boy that gets around in a wheelchair, but I really have no idea who it could be. I froze, as this took me right back to my father's death. This was exactly how it played out. There was no Hearse for this child, just a large white van. It broke my heart as they gently loaded the body into the back of the van as the woman screamed in obvious emotional pain.
My heart went out to them and for a brief moment in time we were connected. I know too well the pain she is experiencing. It is as if someone drives a knife into your soul, removing it and sending it spinning into hell. There is no day, no night, as days move from one to the next without recognition. Your heart and mind are numb, and like a puppet you move about where directed. There is no cold, no warmth. no laughter. It is as if your emotions flat line. You are forever changed.
I made some of my famous orange bread and walked it to their home. A man answered the door and through his swollen red eyes meeting mine, we held a conversation without words. We are forever linked in the club of those who know death, and can recognize each other. A woman came out with swollen red eyes and took the plate as I spoke, "I am sorry for your loss". They thanked me, and could see I understood what was happening in their world, without explanation. I turned and walked down their steps back to my home.
I sure hope all these people we have lost are having one hell of a good time on the other side, because it sure sucks when they leave us behind.
Until next time-
C
