I am afraid I share my son's lack of enthusiasm for the return of the dreaded school year. As the leaves turn the colors of Mars and the wind begins to blow from the cold north I realize that fall is upon us.
I am convinced the goal of a great many teachers in the public school system is to completely destroy a boy's love of learning. And I am going to shoot you here sistas... I think we have waaaaaay to many female teachers who suck at understanding boys. Ok, I said it - now shoot me.
Yes, tonight it was back to school night for us parents. Can ya tell?
Once a year we are forced to go sit in chairs 12 inches from the floor. We then listen to some girl young enough to be my grand daughter tell all of us parents how we suck at parenting and it is television and video games fault that our children may struggle in school. Oh yes, and how great her dad was at raising her and forbidding her from watching much TV. Little lady, Brian had to EARN TV and just got one on his 9th birthday. It was the same for video games, which I am all for. As a computer geek I can appreciate the value video games have to offer. Too bad public schools can't teach boys like it's one big video game. We'd have to beg them to come home from school.
Just as I don't like mortgage loan underwriters who lack any life experience judging borrower's personal financials, I take great insult in teachers not much older than my son, married with one small baby telling others about raising kids. Honey, have two more kids (one with a learning disability), get divorced, stay at school working until 6:00pm, then run to two different places to pick up your kids because your x won't help and try and stretch your food dollar like its rubber - do this for 5 years and I might give you credit for knowing something. Otherwise DON'T TELL US PARENTS HOW TO PARENT.
Now, you can all laugh here because my x husband, the salesman dances around Brian's latest teacher like he is the grandest of all involved fathers. Let us not talk about the fact that the last time he openeda book to read to Brian he was probably 4. I know my friends are reading this and falling off their chairs with laughter... I am on a rant roll here. Brace yourselves.
Little does Brian's new 6th grade teacher realize any contact she has had with my x husband is because I have had some sort of hissy fit forcing him to get involved. This is usually because I am so exhausted I think life in prison after shooting him would at least allow me some rest. He can sense I am done, and pulls the "I am such a responsible dad" thing. I don't care, just as long as he handles it.
Ok...can I say it?
I don't like Brian's teacher. I like the part -time teacher that helps. She is a doll, but this new one has no idea what she has met in me. (Girlfriends?) The teacher and I started getting into it immediately when I asked about purchasing a 2nd set of books for Brian. Brian's Title 1 team has already established this as part of Brian's Title 1 and he is allowed it under the law. (I always donate them back to the school). She told me she is saving the extra books for any new kids she might get and Brian was just going to have to remember his books. Yeah cause I am sure with her attitude a flood of kids are rushing to get into her class... The tone that she took with me as she began her excuses made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I thought of the poor innocent child who feels powerless on the receiving end of her condenseding attitude. I was instantly furious. Is anyone shouting CATHERINE BREATHE?
I sucked in wind looked her straight in the eye and answered through tight lips and glaring eyes,"I'll take it up with Susan then" (Susan the superintendent and I are on first name basis). She began to back pedal a bit (still treating me like I am some idiot clueless parent) but I was already pissed (yes folks she does know Brian is in title one). Brian's books often end up at some home of my x's current girlfriend - or someplace my x can't remember. I guess she thinks Brian should be responsible for his dad's actions too.
I stared at her for the rest of the night and knew I was going to take this woman on. I am often shocked that we still allow teachers into the school system who can be abusive. I will see to it that she never forgets meeeting me. If her parents were lacking in teaching her manners and consideration then I am just the redheaded mom to teach her. Hopefully that poor shy boy that she wants to tear apart for forgetting his homework will get a reprieve as she sees my face as she is about to make him feel small.
She went on and on lecturing us on how we should "just let our kids fall" this year to prepare them for Junior High. Yes, I suppose we should if we want them smoking pot and having sex at 13. I think I will stay involved thank you very much. Funny, in life we only get ahead with the HELP and ASSISTANCE of others, but we should just let our kids suffer - lost in their homework. Brian is brilliant at Math. He tells me to leave him alone when he is working on it. He loves Math. When the homework turns to reading and writing he asks to me to help him through it. I will not "just let him fall" until he tells me to leave him alone just like he does in math.
My x has never helped Brian with a single project, worked patiently through three hours of homework or assisted Brian in completing his first novel. All of the schooling falls on my shoulders. The 75% of the time Brian is with me is spent doing homework and then catching up on all the homework that doesn't get completed at his dad's. Now, this isn't for Brian not wanting to do it - it is his dad dragging him to girlfriend's homes, or out to dinner or to a movie or even a sports event. Everything my x needs or wants to do takes priority over Brian's studies.
Yet, when we get in front of the teachers he nods and smiles and acts like the perfect dad whereas I am the Tasmanian devil. I now thinking I want this new teacher to divorce her husband, marry my x and THEN maybe we could come to some agreement.
Brian still talks about his two kitties he loved, who lived with him and his dad. The girlfriend over near Napa had them put to sleep because of whatever came down between her and my x husband when they broke up. Brian was in second grade. That whole nightmare STILL effects our lives to this day. I was the one who found out what she had done. I was the one that told Brian the kitties ran away - to watch his face twist in shock and then his begging to go look for them. I was not about to tell him they were dead. That night I went to bed and buried my head in my pillows and cried so hard I thought my soul was going to die. Don't you dare tell me how to parent Brian. My little brave "oobello man" and I have been to war and back and have the battle scars to prove it.
There was always KB and my mom seeing us through it.
I know in my soul that Brian will be a great man. But God save him from some of these teachers. I am so close to putting him in private school or charter school. I am joining in on the fight in Congress to allow the $10,000 we spend on kids to go with the kids and not the school. Then parents can put their kids in private school when they become as frustrated as I am.
Oh, and tonight I signed up to be on the school board...
KB is passing out now.
Well someone has to fight for all the boys stuck learning in this new environment. I do wish teaching paid better soit would attract more men. We saw a lot of male teachers during the Viet Nam war because if you studied teaching in college and became a teacher - you could avoid the draft. Brian's teacher last year was the best. She was female, but had boys of her own who struggled in school. She really understood boys. Brian adored her. She also came from the corporate training enviornment before becoming a grade school teacher. She came with real life experience - the best kind of teacher.
So here we go ... another year in the life of Brian. Another year with his redhead mom fighting away for him. He makes me laugh. He's become such a little comedian. He comes back tomorrow night.
On a more humorous side note... Brian has decided to sell gift wrap this year. It seems there is an XBox360 you can win. He has never wanted to sell anything before - except an occasional toy to his friends. He is on page three of orders and approaching 750 dollars. It is suddenly dawning on me that he can be quite the little sales man.
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Please God no - not THAT...not ANOTHER salesman in the family.
I think I should rest this rant on THAT note... and leave you to your emails and comments.
Until next time-
C
PS. It has been brought to my attention that a different x girlfriend of my x husband (I know - who keeps up?) is reading my blog. Why I have no idea, since she swore she hated him when they broke up. So why would you want to come read my blog?
Girlfreinds ... I just can't make this shit up.
C
