When I was a child, it seemed as if the moon came alive on Halloween and witches lay in wait behind dark places to catch and boil an unsuspecting child. It was delicious food for a child's imagination. Children love illusionary fear. Halloween was the perfect holiday that combined dress-up, play and mythical fear... one of my favorite holidays. Grade school became a play day, with parades and parties, cupcakes and disgusting- tasting red punch. God forbid someone should have on the same costume.
The rare careless school day that Halloween created was a needed break from strict teachers and difficult math problems. Even the teachers themselves needed a break from the conventional school day. It was fun to see the normally serious Mr. Pluckoon in a black witches hat, or the beautiful Mrs. Eubanks dressed as a princess - crown and all.
These days children are not allowed to dress up for Halloween at school. The distrct fears someone getting injured, sued, or object that the holiday represents some sort of pagan event. It's sad the meanings adults attach to things children would never think of. To a child, Halloween is just a chance to dress up in characters they act out every day in backyards across America.
Brian has lost interest in the holiday, since he cannot dress in costume for school. As I drop him off I note the sad faces of all the children walking to the playground knowing it is Halloween, but it's just another typical school day. Brian's innocent holidays are ending. He is at the brink of being that thing known as "teenage" you know - the lost years where holidays have lost their special magic and they resent us for it.
In junior high and high school, few dress up for Halloween, afraid they won't look cool - or the worst - they're the only one in costume. The years we allow make-believe play is gone, as kids turn towards sports, art, make-up, sex, drugs, cigarettes to replace the feeling that "make-believe" once brought.
I am irritated at anything that doesn't allow children to play as along as they possibly can, and eliminating Halloween in grade school seems particularly harsh. They also cannot celebrate birthdays, and Christmas is almost ignored. I fear we are teaching a new set of children not to celebrate anything. Hopefully they won't all go to college and stick garden hoses down their throat to funnel bear because their grade school years forced them to be too serious too soon.
School districts worry about the children who might feel "left out" of a celebration. I don't know ... growing up I had a variety of friends from different cultures and never felt left out when the family participated in a tradition unfamiliar to me. My best friend's mother always prepared a ritual meal to the Buddha at the sacred alter in a corner of their home. My girlfriend and I liked to hide and watch Buddha to see if he would actually eat the offering. It's funny, because I remember believing that we were going to see Buddha move.
I also had Jewish, Hispanic and strict religious-family friends (Mormon and Baptist) who I hung out with and observed their traditions. I never felt left out, and loved learning about their lives. I mean come on, I came from a boiled Irish life...boiled beef...boiled vegetables...boiled potatoes. Anything that deterred from hot boiling water in a pan, Jesus in our living room and talking to a scary priest behind a dark wall confessing that I swallowed gum was a great change. I dreamed of a different life. (Sidebar: I collect Celtic crosses ... maybe my son will grow up avoiding crosses... oh my God have I become my mother?)
My divorce became final on Halloween 1998. Halloween seems to be quite the day for me ... I even had a job interview today. It pays great, but I like the guy that is leaving better than the guy that is staying. It is difficult to know if my thoughts are thyroid based, or if my gut is really talking to me. I used to ace interviews, now I don't like them. Although tech based businesses are the best at the interview process. They don't ask the "Where do you want o be in 5 years (ummm ... drinking a cocktail on a sunny beach) " bullshit or "What do you think you will bring to this position (ummm ... my red hair, humor, large breasts and dryer sheets that seem to stick to everything) crap." They tend just have a nice long conversation with you. The downside with the conversational interview is you have those "What the fu** did I say that for???" conversations with yourself on the drive home. Too bad we can't instant message an interview ... then we can just backspace our stupid comments.
At the end of the interview I actually explained it was Halloween and I had to go. In my 20s I never would have the guts to say this, but after two hours I was done. It was after 4:00 and all I could think of is Brian was waiting for me and I needed to get home to him. Maybe this is why employers like us before we have kids and get a real life. I am not like the men I have known who can live on the road away from their family for weeks on end to support a lavish lifestyle. If it is so worth it, then why are they calling me instead of their kids ... or in times past ... their wives?
At least I am honest... and a redhead.
Brian only went to a few houses and came home. He got some candy, came in and said "I want to watch a movie with you". Ok.... and Halloween was done for 2006. At least I wasn't on the road, calling someone else's husband, disconnecting by being on the Internet, or working away in some office. I was here, trying to make a day special for my son.
And start a new life.
Until next time-
C
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