Brian's football team, the Stallions were shutout at the season opener today 20-0. I think it was more painful for my x husband than for Brian. My new football mom friend, Donna signed us up for the concession booth for one of the games. Ohhh the joy of making nachos on 100-degree days in a box the size of my bedroom. She is a riot tho, so I can imagine what stories will come from THAT day. She also signed my x husband up for the bar-b-qing. HA!
I tried to tell her that when we were married, I never let him grill for a party or friends (even though he is a great cook) because he always starts socializing and burns everything. I guess on the day he grills it will be, "Would you like your hamburger burnt, charred or ashed?” Oh well... catsup and mustard fixes everything...doesn't it????
Brian is now into this muscle building fitness phase. Which isn't bad, just annoying. So at 4:30 today he begs me to go for a hike at Spring Lake. (Have I not done enough for this kid today?) Boonie needs a 2nd walk (cause I guess the first one I did at 7am this morning wasn't long enough) so I agree, and off we go. :-)
Once at the park Brian decides we should hike the back trails. Ok...my ass is spreading like margarine, so this could be good. I know most of the back trails by heart, but I haven't hiked them in a year, and with a wet winter, change of park personnel, the trails can be diffferent in dimension from season to season.
As we start out, all is good and I am actually enjoying it....until flashes of girls scout days and boyfriend back woods camping fill my head...as I notice we are surrounded by poison oak on either side. We are of course half way in the park high trail when I notice these funny redish leaves to my left and to my right. So close they are almost hair.
Uh, this could be the reason we have the trail all to ourselves...
Ever try to get a 10-year-old boy, and a 10-month-old dog to stay on a park trail? Let me tell you, it ain't pretty. Now mind you, I don't get poison oak (yet) - neither does Brian (yet), but when you are surrounded by it, and possibly breathing it, it does tend to be just a weeeee bit stressful. Sooo...I am fine, I move the pace along a bit... "Look Brian, I'll race you to that rock up there..."...(I don't run, it just keeps him on the trail and moving with the dog...) In the middle of me uping the pace of the hike (to get out of the poison oak woods), my x husband calls (well...of course he does).
"Hi, can you tell me what's up for tomorrow?" he says. Tomorrow being the first day of school. "Can I call you back? We are hiking at the lake" I reply holding a sweaty phone. (BIG annoyed sigh by him) " It will only take a sec Cath” He says this in the tone which helped bring us to the divorce table.
I am now holding the cell to my ear and watching Brian and Boonie bound across the brush to the lake front through all the pink poison oak and dry brush. I didn't catch their take off because I was answering my damn hot pink cell phone that was buried in my bra. (Of which Brian did comment "Mom your boobs are ringing" and explodes into giggles (like he is all that)) I have no idea where he gets his sense of humor from...
"What??? Sckherre..shhhhhhh...scrassss. Our connect... schhh... is... brea... chhrrr” (I am really good at faking bad cell connections. Comes from having to talk to one to many annoying loan officers.) I conveniently hang up.
Is this a good place to let out a primal scream?
Now... do I yell for Brian and Boonie to come back accross the field of soft pretty pink leaves...?... or go across those leaves to them? Your call.
HA!! Better them, than me I say! I let Brian play at the waterfront a while longer, then called them and closed my eyes. Hey, they can't get poison oak if I don't see it, right??? Geeesh, this simple hike is feeling like the Indiana Jones scene with that gold statue chase. All I need is a machete and a whip.
My phone rings three more times (we can all guess from who). I turn it off. Damn cell phones anyways. At this point, I realize I am dying of thirst and look around for our water. Right at this moment, Brian (the psychic) yells from the lake "Mom, I finished all the water!" Proud he is. Holding up the bottle, waving it triumphantly. Great...I haven't had any yet.
Finally we arrive back at the truck, with me feeling like my mouth is one big dried peanut butter and cracker. I am so desperate for water I drink from a bottle that is 100 degrees and has been in the truck since somewhere before Christ was born. Yummmm warm water is so delicious on a 90 degree day after a hike in the woods. I am telling myself hot old bottled water has great weight loss properties...
This has been fun and now we get in to leave. :-D
Brian smiles, "Wow mom, that was great! Let's do this every day this week, ok?" Oh sure...I will just fit it in between homework, dinner, two hour practices, lunches and my work...and poison oak baths. No wonder I don't think about sex with a man - who has the time? But hey...I can do it all..
Because, I am, the MOM.
C
PS. My right upper arm itches...oh and my knee...oh and...
