Now, I have heard many a man complain about the size of a woman's purse and the "crap" in her vehicle. This morning, I would like to address this issue men have with women.
First thing this morning, I greet Brian (who is sleeping soundly in his bed) with a booming "It's the last day of summer school!" He opens one eye and looks at me like he wishes I'd move to Mars - immediately - or die, whichever makes me go away.
FINALLY he gets up after I threaten to make him go to school in his underewear, and once again soften the blow of having to get up (at a normal hour) by saying it is the LAST day of summer school. There is a big party and all morning play. It is Brian's perfect school day, but I am not able to convince him of this at 7am.
Over breakfast he is trying to con me into staying home, and AGAIN I remind him that it's the last day of school and all they will be doing is playing. This sucks exactly how?
We leave the house, discussing the day and all the fun things he will be doing at school, plus his posse will be there. By now he is in a pretty good mood. We pull into the school drop off and he sees one of the posse menbers: Shane. He rolls down the window and yells, "Shane". Shane turns around, runs to the truck. As he is doing this, Brian turns to me and says, "Oh MOM! I need to bring a paper bag to class!" "A PAPER BAG?!?!?!" I question back. "Yes, mom!" (Like I was suppose to know this little factoid).
At this moment I am contemplating which will suck more, to drive home and bring back a bag (the school is 3 minutes from our home) or send him off upset to class (this would be followed by the scene in the vehicle where he tries to make me feel like the worst mom ever).
Then it dawns on me, like a beam of brilliance from the sun! My truck enterior is a mess with all kinds of stuff that either needs throwing away or returning to the house. I haven't cleaned yet, so the chances of a bag are 80 - 20.
In a flash I look to the back seat. I begin pulling up sweaters, sweatshirts, pillows, tennis shoes, envelopes, old bills I never paid, water bottles, make up, eyelash curlers, gum wrappers, a book, socks, a bra I have been missing, a pair of pumps that hurt, a hat, a dog collar, Brians lunch bag (wow it has been a while) and BAAM, right before my eyes is a neatly folded paper grocery bag. Even better - it's the kind with handles. I whip that baby out, and Brian grins that kind of grin where he thinks I am the miracle worker.
I am not the miracle worker, I just carry a lot of crap in my purse and\or vehicle that often saves a man's butt. However, men will be the first to say "Why are you bringing that????"...or "When are you cleaning this????" Need I remind you men, McGiver would want me for a partner, and he'd ask that I be sure to bring my purse.
I should also address the "hand you my crap" issue. How many times has he handed you something when you are out - to stick in your purse? You know, you are walking through some place where a guy (or worse) a girl is passing out something that you know you will never read even if your life depends on it. He smiles. accepts it and then passes it to you because you have "the purse". "Here, will you put this in your purse?" he says, and numbly (for some reason) you take it.
So... the next time your man complains about the size of your purse or the condition of your vehicle, you should hand him a copy of this - or hand him a list of all the times he has asked you for. Let's see I bet it's been aspirin, a safety pin, gum, your cell phone (because he has forgotton his), breath mints, a brush, sissors or something that cuts, a bottle opener, lotion, something to wipe of his hands, a kleenex to blow his nose, a pen, paper, a tootpick, allergy pills, money, change, chapstick, and a mirror, a wire hanger, a map (no wait he will never ask for a map - you keep one for if you are stuck as his passenger), matches, a flashlight, duct tape, a bag, and a hair pin. This time you advise him to carry needed itmes in his own pockets! You are leaving your purse at home, and you are not taking your vehicle - he's on his own....watch him sweat...
But bring your cell phone in case you need to call someone for help.
Until next time-
C
