Sometimes I forget to track my Hashimotos here for those that ask, so I have been on a bit of a relapse cycle lately, which most know gets me down. It is part of an autoimmune disease, but still the most difficult part for me to accept. It takes everything I have to fight it.
I thank god for the dog my x husband bought Brian that seems to be attaching to me - "Boonie girl" as I like to call her. Today I was feeling guilty about not taking her to the dog park, so I drank some green tea and took her to the state park instead. This down cycle has been kicking my ass for about two weeks now and I needed a change. It was a beautiful hot indian summer day. We hiked 5 miles and thank god for 'dog drag' - you know where your dog drags you along.
I realized it has been a while since I have been to the state park and the lake. The deer are out in force and the canadian geese fill the lesser ponds. Blue Herons fly low, and all the campers are long gone. I always feel the dedication benches speak to me as I pass them by. They are these cool park benches dedicated to people who have died that loved the state park. Bette (Steve's mom - my first boyfriend) has a bench there, she died a few years back from lung cancer. She smoked like a chimney, but her bench comforts me whenever I pass it.
Afterwards, hot and sweaty and feeling exhausted, I was better. My doc would be upset, since they like me to take it easy when I am in a down period. I love to hike and sometimes even if it wears me out, I feel renewed. And at least Boonie the dog is now calm and not chewing on my latest hair thingy.
I even thought about sex while hiking, which I haven't done in a while. I love sex, just the exhaustion makes me forget that I do. A friend of mine was bugging me about dating again - like I have time. But her suggestion did make me think about sex.
Baby steps...baby steps.
So I was 'good' or 'up' almost 3 months, and now 'tired' and 'down' for two weeks. I do notice that in these 'down' times my sleep patterns are interupted and I have a hard time sleeping through the night. There is added stress in my life right now - I don't write everything here - for the protection of Brian. So is it the stress...?...the change in sleep patterns...?...or just part of the cycling of this disease? I have an appointment tomorrow with a holistic Dr. who does saliva testing along with food allergies. They say answering those issues helps support the immune system. I have to say - this has been the longest period of time that I have gone without a bad cold or flu or even my usual bronchitis. Hurray for small miracles...
Until next time-
C
