This afternoon the writers club convened in downtown Santa Rosa. I enjoyed the company of some wonderful literary people who take my writing very seriously - more than I do, which is a good thing. At the gathering the woman next to me held her publishers copy of her first book and I loved every bit of it. I was excited for her and we sat in the back of the group ogling over it. She was positively beaming. I was elated for her as we became instant new friends.
Of course there are those in this group that are on book number 7. I never thought about what I am going to write AFTER I complete a first book... good lord. But they have lovingly pulled me into their fold and are pushing me through the writing process. What kindness they extend to someone just beginning their dream.
I am grateful for the events that transpired in 2005 that brought me to writing again, also for this blog, and these wonderful writers who are living my dream. I gave up Girl's Night Out, because it was more like Too Many Glasses of Wine Night Out. No matter how many times I tried to steer it into doing something inspiring that could possibly change lives (even ours). Alas, it remained all about martinis too strange to drink and toenails that needed painting. I exited stage left and Stephanie was not far behind.
I stopped drinking, gave up sugar (well...sugar most of the time) and removed myself from the circle of toxic people that surrounded me.... literally. It was quite liberating. Sometimes if we are not careful, we can end up in situations where people pretend they like us, when actually they have an agenda. Often, they have no plans for their own future, no passionate dream, no direction and little hope for a different life. They actually believe what they see on TV. They wish their lives resembled something right out of Desperate Housewives. They want to destroy other people so they have some drama to keep them from looking at their sad little lives. Except it isn't Desperate Housewives...it isn't even bottom of the barrel tabloid interesting.
So I went out and found a new life, which is slowly unfolding before my eyes. I can imagine after I have moved, returning here in 10 years and the people I am thinking of will still be living in the same place, doing the same dysfunctional drama. I will thank God that I am not here with them.
In my world there will be no guy trying for an extra-marital affair; no 'friends' who have 4 martini dinners every night trying to drown their day; no 'friend' beating her boyfriend up because she as too screwed up to admit it; no boyfriend beating a 'friend' up and the 'friend' going back to him; no 'friend' pretending to be happy in an unhappy relationship that involves only material objects – too afraid to leave; no working a job I hate to live in a place I hate more; no 'friend' living with someone who doesn't meet her needs or visa versa - too afraid to admit a huge mistake and get out, and NO drama...NO 'friend' drama…NO drama!
I want to be in my nice quiet life (with a sweet man and my contented son) doing what I love for a living, living a life surrounded by people living the same. We will be counting our blessings - not our curses. It is known as serenity, and people do live it.
I am sooooooooo looking forward to this year. It started looking better at the end of 2005 and in these first few weeks some interesting twists and new plot lines are already in the makings. Look out...I think the sun is beginning to appear...
Until next time-
C
