Readers have asked me about information on redheads and what constitutes a "Mr. Big" (in my opinion).
The redhead information can be ongoing, so first I will address the "Mr. Big" question.
Who or what is a "Mr. Big"?
Mr. Big always opens the car door - or any door he is entering with a woman. It is a habit, something he does second nature. He doesn't think whether the woman will like it or not, he just does it. He automatically takes the outside spot walking down the street, and reaches for her hand.
-Note that he reaches first.
He is proud to be with his girl in public and pays attention to her no matter the distraction. Mr. Big doesn't hit on or check out other women. He is out to be with his date. He is good with money, financially responsible and expects that his woman manages her own. He doesn't expect her to pay, but expects that she is spending her money on her children or investments or both. He brings groceries when he comes to her home, and replaces anything he uses. Mr. Big combines romantic gifts with practical ones. He brings paper products, milk and coffee along with gold earrings.
Mr. Big knows how to make women feel beautiful, because he thinks all women are beautiful. His ego is not caught up in how a woman looks, but her mind. He wants her mind to be sexy, smart and sassy, and he wants to absorb everything she says. He hangs on every word of what she says, reading her brain like a Hemingway novel, and laughs his great laugh at her jokes.
However, Mr. Big's woman must have her own life plan, her own dreams, and her own interests outside of his world. He wants to be able to encourage her, admire her and know that when he is traveling or incredibly busy with work, she has something of her own. Mr. Big would rather brag about her amazing talents and brains, than her looks.
Mr. Big wears a suit and drinks the type of drink that doesn't use mix, usually 'over rocks'. He saves beer for when he is casual, which usually involves watching his favorite sport that she understands and does not talk through.
Mr. Big loves his mom, and thinks she is the best. He leaves a separate life from her, but does want the right girl to meet her. Anything his mother needs, he provides, and you better not have issue with this. Do not ever argue against his mother. His mother is kind, and loves him for the successful fair, giving man he is. There is no coming between this bond, and what smart woman would want to?
Although Mr. Big's woman has her own dreams and world, he hopes she has some domestic talent that makes him feel spoiled and the only one she spoils in this way. Well yes, he is a man. He loves being naked and telling stories while she lies in bed watching him. He never leaves after sex, and always makes sure she is taken care of in the morning.
Mr. Big never calls a woman anything derogatory, never says shut up, and never is purposely rude. In an argument, if he thinks he could lose control, he takes a walk. He would never yell in a way to try to make her cry. He is a solver, not a blamer. He is not afraid to say, "I am sorry". He is kind to waiters and waitresses and tips well. He always calls when he says he will call. He speaks the truth and will never say he will call if he isn't going to. TRUTH is everything to Mr. Big.
If he has children, children are his world. He expects his woman to spend time with her children and be very into them. Do not ever ask him to choose over his children.
Mr. Big is well traveled and engaged in the world. He wants to hear his woman's worldly stories and wants her to have many. His woman is not afraid to try new things and enjoys all cultures. He insists that both partners be grown-ups. No big dramas. He wants his time with her to be without complications, easy like a comfortable sweater.
Mr. Big has strong moral and political opinions, and donates time and money to his community. He expects the woman he dates to have the same, but doesn't expect her to be the same. The Mr. Big I have known is republican and I am democrat, but he doesn't care - as long as I vote and support my beliefs. One of his greatest laughs comes from the time I helped volunteer to rebuild a house in a day for a local charity. Iwas so sore after that I slept the entire next 24 hours. Hey! You try and remodel a home in a day - inside AND outside!
How I love Mr. Big. I have only dated and been with two men in my life that fit into "Mr. Big" shoes, neither one is from Sonoma County. My town is too small, too narrow, too white, too much sameness. Mr. Big loves the big city, jazz and cigars and strong after dinner drinks. I loved them both deeply, still do. Every now and then I get an email, or an instant message from one in his far away place, solving some large problem that effects many lives. The other makes trips to Silicon Valley these days. He is such fun...although his smoke of choice is a cigarette, which he smokes like a classic New Yorker - puffing and saying “Fu*kin putz over there…do ya see that?!!?”
Dates with the "Mr. Big" type are remembered for a lifetime. They are fun, full of laughter and intense. His mind is always working and wants to be sure he opens his date up to something new he knows she will like. He enjoys watching her take in something she has never seen or experienced before.
There is no question in my mind that I click with the Mr. Big type. All others pale in comparison, lost in a sea of selfish wants and high matenence demands. I don't like a man making demands of me, telling me how to live my life or what to do with it. Mr. Big accepts me for who I am, faults and all, except he doesn't seem to focus there, only on the endless horizons of possibilities he sees in me. A full interesting life still left uncharted. All believing I should write and tell my great stories.
Thus, here I am...
Ahhhhh cigars though...yum...how I miss them.
Until next time.
C
