As Thanksgiving approaches, the most interesting situation unfolded before my eyes. My x husband told me today that over the weekend he and his latest girlfriend broke up...she broke up with him. I am not surprised, and not for the reasons you might think.
She is a Type 3 - Married looking for that stepping stone person.
Yes my friends, all these types come in women form too. I, myself have been a couple of them. After meeting Katie, and liking her (as my x husband does have great taste in women) I was shocked to find out she had recently kicked her husband out for cheating and had yet to file for divorce -- OH OH. She is still married as far as I was concerned, and my x was about to become stepping stone man.
I met Patrick at this same place in his life. I was still hung up on Mark, so dating him while he was exiting his marriage seemed harmless enough. I myself, after two years of fighting with my x, needed to put the finishing touches on my own legal papers and finish my divorce. One could say we were both still married, even though I had been legally separated for over two years when Patrick rode his motorcycle into my world.
Without going into a lot ofboring detail, we tried a relationship for 9 months and only the first three months rocked - the rest was just one long 7 month break-up. However, we both did finalize our divorces while together. There is so much bad about the whole thing it would bore us all to tears to even give it print time here. Besides, he is a jerk.
Sometimes my life lessons are learned the hard way, I dated Mark (the one who threw up his toes in my bathroom - not Mr. Big) who had just left his marriage; there was Oscar, who late into the game confessed that he and his wife had never even filed, they just lived apart; and Bill who was like Oscar... living apart - no filings. Married. Married. Married. Married. All type 3's or 4's, one Type just a little ahead of the other. Typical Type 3's want you there as they leave; Type 4's have left, but are in the process and just want a warm body.
The problem with being the stepping stone person is both these types will always leave you, or you will grow tired of dealing with their divorce and leave them. Either way, it is still another form of MARRIED and life is too short to spend with the walking wounded. Not only that, do we not have the right to be considered for who we are, not who we are not? I deserve to be loved for the fun, warm loving person that I am, and comparing me to an x just doesn't give me my fair chance.
So there I was getting ready to write this entry when my x husband tells me Katie wants to date other people. I really don't want to know this much about his life, but found it ironic that she became exactly what I have seen in men. It is sad, because I actually think Katie is perfect for my x husband and he is perfect for her, but because of timing it won't happen. My x won't get his fair chance.
Timing is the other problem of Type 3's and 4's, your relationship could be a perfect match, but they won't see it because of the ball and chain around thir heart. Kinda sad really.
I say avoid being a stepping stone person and save your stones for your own garden.
Until next type-
C
